Parenting the High Vibrational Child
You may have heard the terms "Indigo Child", "Crystal Child", "Starseed", and many more names besides when referring to children who are very sensitive and loving. These terms tends to make their way around the metaphysical community with descriptive lists of traits you will see in them. I have found that I needed an over-arching term to encompass these children as no one child exactly "fits" into these descriptive lists, but they all share the same thing in common: they are hear to bring more love to the planet both by representing that love and teaching us how to love ourselves. These children will pick parents who are open to embracing higher vibrations and embracing more love in their lives. They will pick parents who are open to their unusual gifts and allow them to fully come into their potential as they teach the world to evolve towards more love.
Parenting these children is highly rewarding and can be incredibly challenging. Lots of cuddles, big smiles, wise words and lots of questions will characterize their interactions. But because they are born with such a high vibration, they tend to react more strongly to low vibrational experiences and products. For example, they typically cannot tolerate food additives, pesticides, GMO's, chemical personal care products, pharmaceutical medicines and vaccinations, and toxic building materials like carpet glue and formaldehyde in wood products and VOC paints. They pick up on the emotions around them, so when exposed to negative emotions and people they will often absorb those emotions in an effort to heal others and then be unable to process them, resulting in large tantrums as they "release" the emotions again. You may therefore see health problems and behavioral issues when their environments do not match their needs. Being in this third dimension can also be very challenging, and sometimes a high vibrational child will try to "escape" that challenge by not fully integrating into their physical body. When a child is not fully "grounded" it means that their energy field is not fully in their body, which leaves them vulnerable to lower vibrations. Symptoms of a child not being grounded include digestive issues, particularly spitting up/throwing up, behavioral issues like sensory processing disorder or ADHD, and sleep disturbances.
So as a parent, how do you best help your High Vibrational Child adjust to life on earth? By following New Earth Parenting (NEP). NEP is my parenting philosophy that encompasses all aspects of parenting, from the way you approach teaching and guiding your children, to the way you interact with your personal and worldly environments. It is about mutual respect between parent and child and honoring the wisdom of the child. It means making earth-friendly and body conscious choices--from following the Three R’s--Reduce, Reuse, & Recycle-- to eating organic and minimally processed foods, to choosing TRULY toxin-free body care and cleaning products, to treating your family’s health in a natural and holistic manner. It is about empowering yourself to make great parenting choices for the physical, mental, and spiritual well-being of your children.
Practice Pure Living: As I mentioned above, there are a lot of toxins out there in our world. From our food and water supply to our building materials, it's difficult to avoid them all, but in our home we try to control the things we can. We eat organic foods, avoid GMO's, avoid all man made food additives and chemical personal care products, use only green building materials, avoid flame retardants on pajamas, choose "green" toys whenever possible, etc. We only use holistic healing modalities and avoid all pharmaceuticals. For a more complete look at living "Pure", check out my blog post on "Why Purity Matters."
Model Healthy Boundaries and Respect Your Child's Boundaries: The most important parenting and life skill that I can think of is practicing appropriate boundaries: physical, emotional, and energetic. Particularly in America we have an epidemic of poor boundaries, and I believe it is the number one root cause of just about every dysfunction we experience as a society and as individuals.
Physical Boundaries: We all know huggers and people who don't want to be touched. The key is to respect the boundaries of the people you are around. It's more difficult with children. In order to teach them appropriate physical boundaries, start by respecting their personal boundaries. For instance, if you are tickling a child and they yell "Please stop", then stop immediately. Knock before entering their bedroom. Treat them as you would any other individual. When your children are small you have to help them set boundaries, especially with strangers. You would never walk up to a complete adult stranger and pat them on the head or grab at their hands or feet, so don't allow people to do this to your small children. They must be respected as any other individual in order for them to learn appropriate boundaries. Also, keep in mind that just because your extended family knows the child, the family is still a "stranger" to the child. Allow the child the time to get to know family members and never insist that they hug or kiss someone. Don't pass infants around the room so that everyone gets a chance to hold them--would you like to be passed around to a bunch of strangers? Stand up for your child (some families won't like this). In America especially we are sometimes so fascinated with a child that we forget to treat them like a person. The key to setting children up to understand and appreciate appropriate boundaries is to start from the very beginning.
Emotional Boundaries: Healthy emotional boundaries include treating yourself as you would a best friend, rather than beating yourself up when you mess up. It means recognizing insecurity in others and treading lightly so as not to cause them to question themselves. With children it means recognizing that they are more literal and see the world in a concrete way. Teasing a child can have life-long consequences. As parents and role models you cannot bully a child into having self-esteem--in other words, teasing them and then telling them to toughen up when they get upset. You must be the one to hold that fragile esteem in your hands and lovingly nurture it while still helping them to be responsible for themselves and their own destiny. On the other hand of the spectrum you cannot take every hardship for them. They must learn to trust their own emotional reaction and learn positive ways to emote. We do this best through the example that we set---in other words, be kind and firm with yourself as well.
Energetic Boundaries: When I say energetic I literally mean the energy that a person gives off. Every atom, and therefore molecule, tissue, organ, etc. vibrates at a particular frequency. In essence, at its very base, everything is energy. Having appropriate energetic boundaries consists of keeping your vibration to yourself and not allowing others vibrations to enter your space. A clear example of energetic boundaries follows: You walk into a room where two people suddenly stop talking. You have no knowledge of what was happening or what was being said before you walked into the room, and yet you can clearly feel tension and anger in the room. At this point you can choose to let that feeling slide over and past you, or in some cases you begin to feel angry yourself--as in the age old adage that “misery loves company.” Allowing the “energy” of the situation to slide past you is holding appropriate energetic boundaries. Taking on the emotions in the room is allowing your energetic boundaries to be crossed. With children, particularly those that are sensitive and empathic, they will pick up on the energy, and therefore the emotions of the people around them. Children will not realize that the emotions they are sensing are not theirs, and it can be very confusing to them. Especially if the emotions they are experiencing are of a fear-based nature, like anger, insecurity, or sadness, they will not know what to do with those confusing emotions and it can cause them to have an emotional meltdown, or tantrum. This is how they will release the emotions they have perceived from their space. Parents will often notice, or even complain, that when their child is around certain people their behavior changes, becoming more difficult to navigate. In those cases the person or people that effect your child in this manner have poor energetic boundaries.
Teach Your Children How to Protect Themselves from Poor Energetic Boundaries: Above I talked about boundaries and how they can effect children. Giving children tools to deal with poor emotional and energetic boundaries teaches them not to take responsibility for other people’s emotions or baggage. For young children you can tell the to imagine that they are surrounded by either a clear bouncy ball or a bubble. Their ball/bubble is filled up with sunlight. Anyone that comes toward them with any clouds that might block their sunlight will simply bounce off their ball/bubble. I have seen this work with children as young as two. It works great when play dates start to get a little sensitive. For older children shielding techniques can become more complicated as they learn to tell the difference between their own energy and someone else's, but the bubble/ball technique is always a good place to start. Older children can clear their own space as well by imagining that they have a room in their heart. Tell them to walk inside their room and see if anyone is inside of it. No one should ever be in your heart--every person belongs in their own heart. If someone is in there, tell your child to show them how to be in their own heart, and to reclaim their own sanctuary. Teach them to ground themselves fully in their body by becoming a tree and allowing anything that isn't theirs to leave out of their body through roots into the ground. (Hugging a tree can also be helpful for grounding). Being centered, grounded, having an open heart and choosing love will help keep you free and clear of others' baggage.
Recognize the Mirror Your Children Represent: High Vibrational Children come here to teach us how to love ourselves and one another. Sometimes they do this by acting as a mirror so we can see ourselves more clearly, thereby creating an environment in which we can truly heal ourselves. When your chid is doing something that is challenging you, keep in mind that they probably learned it from you. By healing yourself and finding more authentic ways to live in the world you teach your children to do the same. The best gift parents can give their child is facing their own fears and actively pursuing their own self-growth. The more tools you have in the toolbox of life, the more tools you can gift to your children so they can more effectively navigate their own lives'.
Be Open to Their Wisdom and Gifts: High Vibrational Children often have unusual gifts. They may talk about what you are thinking, finish your sentences, see colors (auras) around people, have strong “gut” feelings (intuition), have a strong affinity to crystals and/or to animals, and see ghosts, angels, or other energetic beings. When they talk about these things it is important for their parents to believe them and support them. Even if you are unable to see what they are seeing, or simply don’t believe in these things, try giving your child the benefit of the doubt. This will allow them to stay open to their gifts. Everyone has “gut feelings”. By supporting your child you allow them to learn to trust their own gut.
Recognize the Symptoms of Allergies/Sensitivities: As stated, these children are very sensitive to their environment--chemicals, foods, pollen, emotions. Watch for these signs of allergies/sensitivities so you can help them stay at their best: dark and/or puffy circles under the eyes, a rash of any kind, constipation (meaning not going AT LEAST once a day), diarrhea, (for babies) spitting up, wanting to eat constantly or suck all the time (to ease digestive distress), and unusually disturbed sleep--especially at night. Food allergies and environmental allergies can also cause runny nose, sneezing, coughing, and ear infections. The most unusual symptom that most people are not aware of are emotional and behavioral disturbances like tantrums, ADHD, and in some cases, even Autistic-like symptoms--these are often caused by chemicals like artificial colors, artificial flavors, chemical preservatives, etc. If your child is particurlarly or unusually sensitive, I recommend looking into DNA analysis. The body has both a methylation pathway (how the cells make energy) and a detoxification pathway (how the body cleanses itself). When DNA mutations are present, those pathways do not flow as easily as they need to and health problems can insue. However, food and nutritional supplementation are typically all it takes to keep the child in balance. The most well known mutation is the MTHFR DNA mutation (98% of autistic kids have this mutation, but it occurs in various forms in about half the population as a whole). The leading authorities in this very new field of science are Dr. Amy Yasko and Dr. Benjamin Lynch. I see a future blog post brewing on this topic alone, but for now that information should get you