Boundaries with an Open Heart
January 25, 2023
Boundaries and an Open Heart.
This is going to be our challenge from here on forward.
If you're connected to me there's a good chance you feel this deeply at this time. ❤️🩹
How do we keep our hearts open to the increasing levels of pain as the truth surfaces while also holding the boundaries necessary for self-care? ☮️💟
As a collective and in each of our individual lives we are seeing this play out.
We have all dealt with being attacked for holding a certain vibration. As people address their shadows it is easier for them to cast blame, refuse self-responsiblity, and throw mud at those holding the light.
And those of us holding that light need to be able to process that, transmute it, and still hold the love and light needed for this journey to move forward in a loving manner.
My words are eloquent but the strength needed for this transmutation has taken each of us a lifetime to learn.
And we are still learning.
Here's some strategies:
💗 Choose silence. One of the best ways to set a boundary is to not engage. As the old sayings goes, "Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference."
💗 Be willing to SEE yourself and take self-responsibility. People in pain lash out. Sometimes they will attack you in order to avoid dealing with their own issues. When that happens you have to be willing to ask yourself if their accusations are true? If they are, then you have some self-forgiveness and ownership to work through. If they aren't true, you need to be able to let go rather than perseverate over the accusations. Otherwise you may fall into a similar trap of slinging mud back at them, or find yourself in a thought spiral that is self-defeating.
💗 Be Mindful. When engaging with an open heart you have to insure that you are truly acting from a place of love versus trying to "right fight." Part of that is insuring you are speaking to another's choice and behaviors and not to WHO they are. Compassion and empathy play a big role. Ask yourself, "How would I want someone to respond to me if I was in this level of pain." Also ask yourself, "What would I need to hear that I may not want to hear in order to step out of my spiral?"
💗 Say things the way people need to hear them. Sometimes you need to tip-toe so people can hear you. Sometimes you need a sledgehammer. If you're sensitive you might find yourself feeling bad for using a sledgehammer. And yet when cognitive dissonance and victim mentality are at play, shocking someone out of their fog is necessary.
💗 Practice forgiveness. We are all human and we may all say or do something that makes a situation worse. You need to be able to forgive another, AND you need to be able to forgive yourself.
💗 Stand in integrity with yourself. Do not compromise your own values, your own sense of self, or your own authenticity to make another feel better. You gotta be you. If you lose people because you are being you, than they aren't your people. And that's okay.
💗 When you feel stuck in this process, try Ho' oponono. It's a Hawaiin energy technique to shift the energetics of a situation. Imagine looking that person in the eye and saying the following with truth in your heart: I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.
The Change Always Begins Within 🥰
Original FB post here if you'd like to read the comments or engage: